How to stop reacting defensively when triggered


Every single moment you live is another opportunity for healing.

Via Laura Proberton Oct 19, 2015, Edited by Mystieria


“There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up the pen to write.”  ~ William Makepeace Thackeray, The History of Henry Esmond, Esq.

“I want you to smile. I want you to truly smile today. Realize that right now you are where you need to be. And, there is no need to rush. You are on-time, you always have been and you will always be. Please keep smiling.”  ~ Ana Ortega

“If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.” ~ Leo Tolstoy, Essays, Letters and Miscellanies



Awareness opens the door for curiosity, perspective and shift – the very things you need to change your thoughts and your life.

“Without awareness there is no choice.” ~ John F. Barnes

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” ~ Anthony Robbins

“Look at everything always as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time: Thus is your time on earth filled with glory.” ~ Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

“It’s all a matter of paying attention, being awake in the present moment, and not expecting a huge payoff. The magic in this world seems to work in whispers and small kindnesses.”  ~ Charles de Lint


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Here are Five Healthier Ways to Practice Awareness When You are Triggered:

1. Zip your lip. Don’t react right away. Don’t speak, or write a reply until you’ve had a chance to feel and reflect.

2. Step into the person’s shoes. We’re really all one. Use the interaction or feedback you get as a learning tool. Allow yourself to understand where the other person is coming from and that nobody has to be right for things to work out.

3. Notice the feelings. If you practice feeling what’s going on inside of you when you’re triggered you’ll usually notice that you’re creating a mental story to go along with the sensation. Separate the two and just bring the feeling into your heart.

4. Don’t take anything personally. It’s never about you. Ever. Realize that someone’s feedback or comment about you is coming from their own unique lenses they watch the world through. It’s just another way to look at things. It doesn’t have to be personal.

5. Respond from your heart not your head. If and when you respond in the instance where you’ve been triggered, make sure it’s only after you’ve done the first four steps, and that you’re responding from a heart-centered place. Why? It’s all about love baby. If we want it we must give it, no matter how someone is judging us.

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A school psychologist, wife and mother of twins who enjoys music, reading, psychology and learning.

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